“Men do not cry. They have to learn to handle themselves better and be a man.” This a common statement made regarding how men should handle emotional problems. Psychotherapy is understood as a dyadic interaction between the client and the therapist. Every society has a set of rules called norms which are seen as acceptable standards of behaviour. Health et al.,(2017) found that traits such as self-reliance and emotional control have been associated to men resulting in men not seeking counselling despite undergoing phases in life/ experiences which might be seen as difficult or overwhelming. As a result going to therapy is seen as putting oneself in an emotionally vulnerable position and is seen as a sign of failure that one requires additional support(Addis& Mahlik,2003). Further evidence suggests that almost 70% of college male students undergo mental health difficulties but do not open up about their mental health. 

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Masculine norm adherence

Research shows that norm adherence is often associated with self-stigma as men might perceive disclosing information about themselves being linked to negative judgement and evaluation (Hammer et al.,2013). Further research suggests that self-compassion is a mediator between masculine norm adherence and help seeking behaviours. Hence, those with optimum levels of self-compassion are able to seek help without internalizing feelings of shame or self- criticism. However, those with low levels of self- compassion avoid seeking help and also internalize feelings of shame and self- criticism. Another factor that deters men from seeking mental health support is the “gamma bias”. This is a bias which states that men are primarily privileged members in the society and thus success is seen as a result of the privilege whereas any deficit is seen as a result of dysfunctionality of masculinity. It is the in-built societal structure that can cause men to feel this way but seeking help and recognizing these feelings if present itself is the first step to success. 

What can be done to help men prioritize their mental health?

As Steven Hayes says that every individual with a difficulty can be regarded as simply being stuck rather than being called as broken. Few simple ways to help men prioritize their mental health include

  1. Validating emotions- It would be a difficult experience if one had to live through their entire day on autopilot mode without awareness of what one is thinking, feeling during the day. Men should have a safe space where they can share about how they felt throughout the day. Very often creating such a space at home may be difficult and thus the therapy space in itself can be seen as that space to open up and have a professional validate one’s emotions and make one feel safe. 
  2. Recognizing the first signs- It is essential for clients themselves and also their families to help identify the first signs of a mental health difficulty. It could manifest as changes in mood, biological functioning such as sleep/ appetite, lowered motivation to engage in regular activities of daily living. When any of these first signs are noticed one must definitely seek professional help. 
  3. Identifying unhealthy coping mechanisms- It is also equally important for every male to assess how they deal with stress. One may engage in substance use, avoidance, gambling, excessive screen use, to deal with stress. These may be considered as emotion focused ways of coping as they don’t help deal with the main problem. One may feel stuck and exhausted with options to deal with their problems and emotions and thus seeking professional help may help. 
  4. Prioritizing one’s physical health- It is also essential for one to prioritize their physical health as very often mental health concerns may manifest as bodily symptoms such as aches, pains, dermatological issues, gastric issues. Further unresolved chronic stress can also affect immune system functioning leading to medical complications. Hence, spending some time for some form of physical health such as playing a sport or working out. 
  5. Seeking professional help- It has been seen that even after being referred for therapy many men do not prefer taking the first steps. The assumption that therapy is very touchy/emotional prevents many from taking the first steps. It is of paramount importance for men to realize that it is they as clients who lead the process of therapy. There is often a fear associated with their deepest-darkest secrets being known by others. This fear can be addressed by the fact that clients have a choice what and how much they wish to share. They may choose to share some information later or choose not to share it at all. Hence, one shouldn’t allow this fear to dominate preventing one from seeking professional help. 

In conclusion mental health is equally important as physical health and normalizing seeking support for men is really important. The process of normalizing mental health from men would encompass lending a listening ear to someone in distress to helping them seek professional help to help them become the best versions of themselves! 

References

Addis, M. E., & Mahalik, J. R. (2003). Men, masculinity, and the contexts of help seeking. American Psychologist, 58(1), 5–14.

Hammer, J. H., Vogel, D. L., & Heimerdinger-Edwards, S. R. (2013). Men’s help seeking: Examination of differences across community size, education, and income. Psychology of Men & Masculinity, 14(1), 65–75

Heath, P. J., Brenner, R. E., Vogel, D. L., Lannin, D. G., & Strass, H. A. (2017). Masculinity and barriers to seeking counseling: The buffering role of self-compassion. Journal of Counseling Psychology, 64(1), 94–103